0

peace out.

I guess I must have dumbass
tattooed across my forehead.
I asked you 1,242 times if you loved me
and 1,242 times you swore you did.
I said I’d never beg to be loved again,
but I guess instead I chose to settle
for 3 hours of laughter
and a 3 hour drive.
I chose someone who wouldn’t chose me.
How the fuck does that feel?
Like shit.
We circled the drain,
fuck if it wasn’t clogged the fuck up,
but we slipped down anyway.
I slipped into madness,
and you slipped into forgetfulness.
Forgot you loved me.
Forgot you missed me.
Forgot I was your fucking girlfriend.
I asked for what I needed,
and in the end what I needed,
was just a peace out, see you later,
except later was just bullshit,
just like our relationship.

0

good thing.

i am tired –
it has been a long day,
one still going.
i am afraid to put you in words.
i am afraid of the ending.
inevitable,
but then endings are inevitable,
always.
to be present inside those moments,
has been refreshing,
an orgasm for the soul,
if you will.
i can see the light in the tunnel,
it’s irony, really,
seeing as how i’m just
trying to stay in the dark,
wanting you to be endless,
the kind of forever,
i don’t really believe is possible,
ill say it anyway,
you’ve been a good thing.
such a good thing.

0

there.

I asked you to kiss me.
But you got in your car,
while I stood there, ridiculously.
I made myself vulnerable.
I put myself out there.
I asked for what I wanted.
I just did, you said.
That was the moment.
I made the decision,
to never let you hurt me again.
I will not ache for your touch.
I will never stand there,
with hopeful eyes,
asking you to love me
with more than words.
So, when you wonder,
why I gave up, quit –
that was the moment.
I opened myself to you,
and you sewed me shut
with a needlepoint –
neatly stitched with
“not interested.”