i realized tonight, that i do not know how to be loved. i know how to give, and bend and break, but i do not know how to accept when the earth moves to make room for my roots.
i wish i could take the ache from inside you, and fill it with warm and hope and fire and all the light. lay on my chest and let me love you until the sun creeps through the window. you will always be safe with me.
i never know, if you mean you cant love me at all or if you just cant love me right now.
i told the wind, how much i loved you, and how much i missed you.
i am drunk, and tomorrow i will regret this, but i love you, and sometimes, i make bad decisions.
i tell myself, i will talk to you tomorrow. i will cave, tomorrow. maybe i can tomorrow myself into moving on from this. like maybe, tomorrow i wont remember you saying how you want to know all the things. maybe tomorrow.
i can feel myself slipping, sliding slowly into spaces that are too small for me to breathe in. elephant in my chest, weights on my feet. i walked into this room, voluntarily. and now it won't let me leave. i know this dance, but you can't skip steps. move move move. or it will swallow you.
sometimes, it still takes my breath away to remember you. i want to be free. just let me be free.
they say, it's the wolf you feed that gets the strength, but they don't talk about the monsters, the ones that eat wolves for dinner bones and all. monsters do not give a single fuck.
i try to fit a lifetime, into a single conversation, but the problem is that, a lifetime is too much to share with someone who doesn't care if you're alive at all.