0

nostalgia.

I let myself miss you tonight;
for a fleeting moment I remembered
the you that you were
when I loved you the most,
not this being that you became;
I catch glimpses of you,
sometimes while I’m out.
I can see you in the bookstore,
on the couch, on a side street;
it’s just a memory,
you aren’t really there;
just a vague nostalgia
that leaves me with the taste of history.
I hope you are well,
be well, stay well,
wherever you are,
in whatever you do.
I hope that once in a while,
you might think of me too,
just for a fleeting moment,
I hope you miss me,
just like I miss you.

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0

alive.

there are people who say that
you will forget words and actions,
but never the feelings.
those people are right.
i can barely remember your face,
or your touch or your laugh.
i can’t remember the depths of your eyes,
or the way you smiled.
i can’t remember the shape of you,
or the feel of you against me.
i can’t recall the moment that i decided
that i. wanted. you.
the first time i saw you?
the first time i kissed you?
the first time you touched me?
no, i can’t remember much about you at all,
except that for a moment in time,
i was alive.
i was trapped in your fire,
burning and smoldering,
and yet,
i was more alive than i had ever been.

2

too much.

don’t tell’em how you feel,
don’t let’em know you’re crazy
never tell’em that you cry,
at night,
when you’re alone.
always be strong.
don’t ask for a thing.
let’em buy you a drink,
smile when you kiss’em.
make that light in your eye,
shine so fuckin’ bright,
they’ll never see,
just how you’re dyin’.
catch and release,
never say whatcha mean to me.
no room for honesty.
don’t even fuckin’ breathe.
count to ten,
every time you wanna give in,
just don’t.
don’t say the words
with the feelings
and the hopes and the dreams.
hold back every fuckin’ scream.
you’re enough, you know that
but for them it’s too much,

0

Skin.

Sitting here in the dark,
remembering how it felt
to be skin to skin with you.
To feel fire and heat and hot
and to be wanted, oh you just don’t know
how solace can be found
in the arms of a lover.
To be wanted,
to feel alive, for the first time.
Being born again from flames,
taking away the rage,
taking away the pain.
You are so beautiful,
in every light, every angle.
To know the depth of you,
is where my compass would point.
To extend this peace for a long while yet,
to never have you leave.
To be here wrapped in your embrace,
to never say goodbye again.
Temporarily insane.
The place I want to leave my soul,
is here, in this bed with you,
skin to skin.

0

superman

I rise up in the mornings,
put on my superman cape
paste a smile on my face,
I will show them what it means
To be brave. To be fierce.
I will sip my coffee
like a hero toasting courage,
My back will be straight.
I will be poised. Perfect.
I will be the rock in the storm,
unmovable, unmalleable.
Always sure of my steps
Always positive. Always optimistic.
I will be the knight,
the guard, the shepherd.
Until my watch is over,
and then I will go home.
I will sit in the shower,
and let myself feel.
I will take off the smile,
I will not be brave or fierce.
I will cry and weep
and hurt for them and for me.
So that tomorrow,
I can rise up in the morning
and put on my superman cape.