0

books.

i want to be with someone
who sees the way i look at books.
someone who notices
the way my fingers trail over covers
as though the right one will speak
straight to my soul.
i want someone who sees
the fire in my eyes
when i talk about
the things that move me.
i want to be with
the person who makes me
feel like im not sorry,
no need to apologize all the time.
someone who will hold me
so close, so tightly
that our souls cannot be separated.
thats it.
thats all i want.
just fucking love me.

Advertisements
0

good thing.

i am tired –
it has been a long day,
one still going.
i am afraid to put you in words.
i am afraid of the ending.
inevitable,
but then endings are inevitable,
always.
to be present inside those moments,
has been refreshing,
an orgasm for the soul,
if you will.
i can see the light in the tunnel,
it’s irony, really,
seeing as how i’m just
trying to stay in the dark,
wanting you to be endless,
the kind of forever,
i don’t really believe is possible,
ill say it anyway,
you’ve been a good thing.
such a good thing.

0

wanted.

i think the thing
that is most impressive,
is that someone who knew me
for only four hours,
knew me better than you
and you had six years
of mornings and nights.
maybe he’s just another
goodbye to make me cry,
but i’ll be damned
if he didn’t kiss me
like he meant it.
and maybe he was lying,
just to get me naked,
but he’d already stripped me
with my clothes on.
funny how words can
take the clothes off your soul.
he didn’t even know
how he was holding me together,
like you never fucking did.
just met, yet,
he told me i was funny.
and fucking adorable.
he wanted to touch me.
how fucking cool is that?
he.
wanted.
to.
touch.
me.
he knew i wanted him to kiss me,
i didn’t have to fucking beg.
or ask.
or cry for it.
he said he saw it in my face,
wonder then –
how many times did you see that look
and just turn the fuck away?
everytime i find myself missing you,
and hurting and aching,
i just remind myself of that last time,
standing in the fucking driveway,
begging you to fucking kiss me.
and you didn’t.
that was the last time you didn’t,
but it wasn’t the first time.
so fuck you.
i hope he’s good guy,
but even if he turns out
to be a complete fucking dick,
he made me feel wanted.
and that’s all i wanted.
it’s all i’ve ever wanted.

0

nostalgia.

I let myself miss you tonight;
for a fleeting moment I remembered
the you that you were
when I loved you the most,
not this being that you became;
I catch glimpses of you,
sometimes while I’m out.
I can see you in the bookstore,
on the couch, on a side street;
it’s just a memory,
you aren’t really there;
just a vague nostalgia
that leaves me with the taste of history.
I hope you are well,
be well, stay well,
wherever you are,
in whatever you do.
I hope that once in a while,
you might think of me too,
just for a fleeting moment,
I hope you miss me,
just like I miss you.

0

alive.

there are people who say that
you will forget words and actions,
but never the feelings.
those people are right.
i can barely remember your face,
or your touch or your laugh.
i can’t remember the depths of your eyes,
or the way you smiled.
i can’t remember the shape of you,
or the feel of you against me.
i can’t recall the moment that i decided
that i. wanted. you.
the first time i saw you?
the first time i kissed you?
the first time you touched me?
no, i can’t remember much about you at all,
except that for a moment in time,
i was alive.
i was trapped in your fire,
burning and smoldering,
and yet,
i was more alive than i had ever been.