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simmer

i almost love you.
it’s sitting there,
simmering beneath the surface,
waiting for the right moment
to come through.
i am content with you,
not too much
of any one thing.

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good thing.

i am tired –
it has been a long day,
one still going.
i am afraid to put you in words.
i am afraid of the ending.
inevitable,
but then endings are inevitable,
always.
to be present inside those moments,
has been refreshing,
an orgasm for the soul,
if you will.
i can see the light in the tunnel,
it’s irony, really,
seeing as how i’m just
trying to stay in the dark,
wanting you to be endless,
the kind of forever,
i don’t really believe is possible,
ill say it anyway,
you’ve been a good thing.
such a good thing.

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there.

I asked you to kiss me.
But you got in your car,
while I stood there, ridiculously.
I made myself vulnerable.
I put myself out there.
I asked for what I wanted.
I just did, you said.
That was the moment.
I made the decision,
to never let you hurt me again.
I will not ache for your touch.
I will never stand there,
with hopeful eyes,
asking you to love me
with more than words.
So, when you wonder,
why I gave up, quit –
that was the moment.
I opened myself to you,
and you sewed me shut
with a needlepoint –
neatly stitched with
“not interested.”

 

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blinks

to look upon faces,
sweet and harried all the same
looking back from black and white
pictures to match to names.
some in jobs and dreams
some only dreaming of jobs
behind bars, in cells,
stuck in time. lost in time.
some frozen in youth,
never to change, grow older.
buried beneath flowers and stone
peaceful til the end of time,
so is the way of life.
to be here and then not be here,
just a blink in time.
just a blink.

 

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beginning to end.

Horse trailers make me cry and
you can fit a lot of memories in a wheelbarrow.
hello life,
hello life.
A hundred different songs
can feed a hundred thousand souls
In a club, in a car, on a bathroom floor.
Sorrows can drown in a whiskey
no rip currents needed.
hello life,
hello life.
Biscuits and gravy
not a single one can save me
planted southern roots
but they point north and west
and all over this goddamned place.
hello life,
hello life.
Settle in and settle down
but never settle for less than love
Show up, don’t show out
beautiful places and spaces
really weren’t created for that.
hello life,
where have you been?
What does it feel like,
to have your soul crawl out of your skin
What’s it this week?
Meth, crack, pot, heroin?
hello life,
sing to me.
make it the one about life
after death and what comes next
make it about snow and Jesus
and things like Heaven.
hello life,
hello death.