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superman

I rise up in the mornings,
put on my superman cape
paste a smile on my face,
I will show them what it means
To be brave. To be fierce.
I will sip my coffee
like a hero toasting courage,
My back will be straight.
I will be poised. Perfect.
I will be the rock in the storm,
unmovable, unmalleable.
Always sure of my steps
Always positive. Always optimistic.
I will be the knight,
the guard, the shepherd.
Until my watch is over,
and then I will go home.
I will sit in the shower,
and let myself feel.
I will take off the smile,
I will not be brave or fierce.
I will cry and weep
and hurt for them and for me.
So that tomorrow,
I can rise up in the morning
and put on my superman cape.

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inside my head.

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The things on the inside that no one sees.
The things that kill you slowly and silently.
The things no one will believe –
that you never wanted to be crazy;
that you have words you want to say,
but you can’t because they’re trapped in your head
right behind that smile you put on.
right behind that smile.