*trigger warning. 
*not suicidal, but if you are, please reach out for help.

something in me craves life,
the way that someone not sober
craves a little wine-whiskey-mixed drink.
even so, even so,
the fantasy of blowing my brains out
by the pond, under the trees,
wide brown eyes looking up
at the gray sky, 
while the water drifts. 
solace.