Today, I don’t believe in You. No, not today. Probably not tomorrow either.
But don’t tell anyone.
It’s a secret. It has to be.
I used to be SO close to you. I could feel you. It was almost like I could reach out and touch You. I almost felt that way yesterday, but in a moment it was gone. Like last summer, the day before, whispers in the night – You left me. Maybe You’re busy right now. Or maybe not. I’ll come back, I always do.
But it’s a secret. So don’t tell.
It’s been a long time since I really felt Your presence. As I’m writing this, I can ALMOST feel you here with me but when I turn to look you’ll be gone.
People talk all the time about how we’re supposed to do this or that and the other and laws and rules and inside, I’m struggling just to keep believing in You. They say we should just have faith, but do they even know how that hard is? Do they struggle like me?
I’ll keep waiting. I’ll keep trying.
But today…
Today, I don’t believe in You.