i want to crawl inside your skin,
be so close i can touch your heart
with my bare hands, feel it beating.
i remember the way this felt before,
i know the way the fire burns hot,
leaves nothing but ashes behind.
i haven’t forgotten that for all the heat,
there is ice and cold and pain.
i hate this feeling of wanting
to love you deeply and softly, completely.
i hate it because it gives you power
that no one should ever have.
i hate that i want to drown in you,
that i never want to come up for air.
i hate that i feel like im holding smoke
watching it drift through my fingers
and im trying to inhale it,
some last ditch effort to keep my sanity,
because there you are,
saying some of the right things
and being so damn beautiful.