conquering the world,
because that is what i do.
not to be brave
or courageous.
but to forget.
to prove i dont need you.
that i can do this,
on my own.
no matter how much it hurts.



this is what freedom feels like
wind in my hair
music so loud i cant hear
the thoughts whirling in my head.
open roads.
stop lights, stop signs.
peace. quiet.
clothes on the floor
shoes by the door
my reflection in the window.
i am alone.
i am one with the world.



Fingernails up an arm,
down an arm.
red lines, then nothing.
Head banging into hands,
not so hard as to damage,
but to say stupid, stupid, stupid.
A brain that won’t work right,
a mind that won’t stop,
words that circle, in circles.
Breathing is an art,
regret is a black mark,
panic is the cause.
Control is the craving,
an addiction, but not quite.
You can’t cure an addiction.
Arms hug me tight –
You are okay and fine
Wait, those arms are mine.